Since long i post..

But if i dont post now, i really will die inside..

I'm really lose and confused.. I dont know how my life will carry on..

I'm really tired of life, I just want go somewhere far far away, detach all contacts with reality..

My parents rather not pay a 3k to guarantee a place in a school for as they scare i will breach my probation.. Wtf, cant they just understand if the place is not guarantee, and if my court end up quite well, and i cant go and study again, what is the fucking point..

3k for my future?? i Think is worth it, while they think is not.. I hate them, all they care is about what they thinking.. They will never want to try understand my situation...

Fuck this world, nobody understand me no more!! And this concept in my brain wont change..

The only person will understand and love and care about me already went somewhere far far away..

Beloved aunty where are you? i really need you, I'm Lost.. I need your guidence..

I really miss you a lot..

How i wish you are still me but you leave me all alone..

I need to talk to you.. Should I come find you? I really feel like it..

I already got the sense of myself leaving..

There is no more goals and no more dreams, I just dont want pursue no more..

My dreams have died..

I will come find you soon.. 24/6/2010.... 2A.M

Ting Jun, I'm so disappointed when you think that i a bad boyfriend.. Ya maybe yes i'am..

And is time for me to leave you everybody else.. Dont be upset.. Just take it i go vacation.

Yes I'am irresponsible guy..

I'm sorry to everyone.. My beloved brother jesmond , Don't be upset.. Strive for your dreams..

And so my other brothers, do your best for everything.. i give you all my blessings... Ah hwi, thanks for all love you gave me, without you, I will be a miserable kid..

Thanks..

My parents, thanks

Brother and Sister , I love you guys..

Grandparent, i really appreacite what you do for me..

I going for a forever vacation

I don't know how or why or when

I ended up in this position I'm in

I starting to feel distant againI'm just so fucking depressed

I just can seem to get out this slump

If I could just get over this hump

But I need something to pull me out this dump

I took my bruises took my lumpsLately I've been hard to reach

I've been too long on my own

Everybody has a private world

Where they can be alone

Are you calling me are you trying to get through

Are you reaching out for me I'm reaching out for you..Lately I've been hard to reach

I've been too long on my own

Everybody has a private world

Where they can be alone

Are you calling me are you trying to get through

Are you reaching out for me I'm reaching out for you..

We’ve run out of words we’ve run out of time
We’ve run out of reasons really why we together
We both know it’s over baby bottom line
It’s best we don’t even talk at all
Cause I’m not coming back I’m closing the door
I used to be trippin’ over missin’ you but I’m not any more
I got the picture phone but baby your picture’s gone
Couldn’t stand to see your smile every time you dialed
Cause it’s over
Girl you know it’s over this time
So when you call I’m pressin’ seven
Don’t wanna hear your messages messages
I’m tryna erase you from my mind..

I always been a mistake, from the day it starts..
It shouldnt end this way..
If i know that this would happen, I wont even want to start..
I should never have believe in love..
It is over now..
Why cant u change, while i can..
Hope u dont regret..

Why cant u believe in me..
I really just want to be with u for the rest of my life..
Is just that u dont believe

I here to post.. as ppl complain say i never post..
So ya..
Recently everything is bad..
Lost 400 dollars soccer..
no money..
no gf..
no school...
no ways..
LOST..
So ya,, that all..
Bye

Christmas has passs..
Is nt as fun as last year..
Is kinda boring..
results cming 11 jan..
and i going to start mia soon

I awake still at 3am in the morning..
Listening to a song that reminds me of my beloved aunty.
I seriously miss her alot..
I just feel like following her..
Where do ppl go after they die..
Please allow me follow..




And to my baby gal:
I seriously really love u alot..
I want u to do the same for me..
I dont want any secrets along us..
I want to be truthful to u and u do back the same to me..
I dont know how say when i really face to face with u..
Please understand how i feel..
Lets us cherish each other before is too late..
I mean what i say.. I want to be with u..
I want u trust me...

Now we're caught in a circle
A constant battle
The day that u hurt me
The clouds cast a shadow on us
And I hope that ur happy we're even now, so cry baby cry
Before the love just turns to hate
Before I ask for u to stay
And just before u walk away
What is this, what happens to relationships, started off so good and ended up so bad baby I just wanna know..

My dad came back..

WE start doing a lot of things together...

This is something i miss the most:

I AM GOING TO DIE

I already from today onwards i going mia..
I think the only person i will meet is only jesmond..
So sorry..
I maybe mia till chalet then come back out..
Soo.. Jesmond is also going to mia soon..
I will meet other friends and brothers at the chalet..
U all just to have wait till then..
Is around 1week plus..



I really dont have feel to meet her..
Meet also argue... and i dont like that..
I already dont have the need to meet her.. So just let it be this way..
She also think that it is perfectly ok, She likes it this way so can meet friends..
Told you before that i dont need u, if u dont need me..
I will be gone faster, as time pass like this..
But i think You will be ok with it




BYEBYE PEOPLE
BYEBYE PEOPLE
BYEBYE PEOPLE

Been driving around with dad..
So fun..
hahhahs..
Whooot...
I going mia soon.... I dont need any new excitement liao..
I just want the car..
Today maybe buying a new phone...
And maybe changing house again z.z...
Tonight is butterfactory..
Probably not going..
getting so boring...

Damn tiredd.. Just reach home.. yesterday night went to find girlfriend..
Then she call me get lostt because of friend.. thenn lols..
hais nvmm.. Went home at around 5am.. and changed.....
Candis come pick me up.. lolss..
Wtf gal pick up boy..
hahahhas.... then to eat.. and went to her house and stayed..
And slept very well...
She called me to stayed another few days.........
So maybe i going to ton at her house for another few nights barh...
Byes. I go bath liao..

Now is around 2am..
Just reach home frm safra..
Zz...
Went to find sarah at her place..
Slacked with her till 8 like that...
the cab to jp find jesmond and gang...
Eat mac..
Lan..
How boring.. Trm they working again..
Should be going malaysia with chinwee...
Not sure yet..
Going chalet soon..
and next week onwards is my turn to mia..
I will gone for sometime till around Xmas..
Need to find some money to finish my tattoo..
Finding wei nan soon..





I never wanted to argue or show attitude...
All i wanted is more time with you...
Is that too much to ask for?

Just wake up, yesterday went to kenneth hideout which is boat quay..
Went there to drink...
Whooo.. Fun..
At last start to choing...
She went off at the wrong time lor..
Hais..
Too bad.. Cannot blame me, is u never pei me..
Going drink again i think..
yesterday billy open 7jug..then we high then shuffle with a indian...
Wild...
Restoring my normal life..
Ltr going to watch movie..
Chalet is coming..
Is time to have fun...

I BEEN LISTENING FOR THIS CHINESE SONG FOR 7HOURS..
MOTHERFUCKER

Went to meet my brothers again..
Zzz..
Went to church and find her, but she like dont even care..i'm like so fking auto liao lor..
Hais..
Went safra, lan pool..
Then she dua me.. I was so angry that i puch the pipe and the thing come out from the wall..
My hand skin tear..
Zzz..
But realise i must be more understanding...
Then chillll....



Please dont take it for granted, when i care abt u more..
Better start to cherish, or i will be gone before u know it..
Addiction will fade, so as everything else..
I dont know why is she treating me like this, is two different person when first met..
I'm not your ordinary boyfriend that always cry for u..
I can choose to care or dont..
And now i choose to care, so please dont destroy my promise towards you..
And i really want you.. Not playing with you..
Dont make me start playing.. Please this the only thing i want from you..

Alright now i'm still at home.. waiting for jesmond to come back jp..
yesterday went to terrance house play and slack..
after that went to find some ppl.. which i regret meeting..
But nvm, yesterday it makes it more clear, that i dont even want to care..
Anyway..i wondering what drinks should i buy to the chalet..
Chivas or Vodka, So confusing..
It should be quite fun.. Wf say alot of gals gals..ite leh...
Lols..
Alright, i going meet azinger liao..
Cya bitches.

Quite long since i blog..
'm super tired.. but i just suffer from insomia..
I been staying at home for quite some time..
And at last finally today i know what i should do..
Omg this is so not me, but after today i going to return to what i really am..
Alright, i dont really care whether we are together..
Better leave me, before u reallly need me...
I going out liao..
Go get all my clothes to the new house..
Trm is officially date to go out with brothers..
I think i going find ah hwi trm..
And wei nan, Chill man, is just a girl... Dont so serious.. Dont be upset..
I will always be there for you..
Not gay la..
Take care all my brothers..
Is Time to hae fun..
Chalet next week. Interested call me..
Girls are welcome;)


If you think i'm just a normal guy.. U are wrong...
Please dont think that i need you,
I used survive myself.. I dont need anybody.. If that person dont needs me..
All i want is just my aunty and brothers..
But my aunty is gone, all i left is my brother..
Jesmond, we been through alot of rubbish together..
Girls will go..
Brothers will be stay..
This is our brotherhood.. Fearless, when we stand as one..
We ride together, we die together..
Brothers 4 life..

Whoo. Since a long time i blog man!..
Os going to finish in 2 days time...
Yeah..
Alright, There's alot of plans..
Jesmond' s birthday..
Terrance Birthday..
Azinger Birthday..


I being hanging out with wei nan this few days..
Doing stupid stuff..
At queensway..
Tattoo Shop at second storey at the mac staircase.
Anybody wants to do tattoo and piercing.. Go there..


Let start enjoying and do whatever you like..

Everything i do, is a mistake..
Seriously i just want disappear from this world..
I just want to do things that i like..
Things that make me happy..
It had been a long time since i was really happy..
Is it because of the age?
Why when i grow older, i am getting more unhappiness than happiness??
I wish time would just turn back.. and make me remain as a child..
I dont my lifestyle at all..
Clubbing, pub, drinking, smoking, gangster, fighting, doing those stupid things
Just making me hate myself..



I wish that the case will charge me with provision..
So that i will repent with what seriously am i doing..
I seriously just feel disappointed with myself..



Is the end of the world in my mind..
Then you voice pull me back like a wake up call..
Because you make believe in myself
when nobody else can help..
Because you live, I live..
But now where you go? why you just left me like this?
Where are you when i need you now..??
Where??
Why must you go?

O's is just days away..
But i havent even prepare..
I know that i need to do well, but i cant just find that concentration to study..
I seriously start to hate myself..
I dont know what i want...
Aimless and helpless.
I really dont want to disappoint my parents.. But i think is already too late...
I will try study as much as possible..
But still i think i can make it to poly..

I Almost Told You that I Loved You..