Love Suicide (Last Entry)

I'm So Sorry for causing you so much disturbance and freedom..

I was looking for love, somebody to trust, thought you was the one..

This is your choice and your decision, and is you the one that agree that ending of somebody might bring a better life to others.. I will respect your decision.. I will do you this one last request, and it will be my last..

You say that things don't last forever, I agreed now, Cause me is ending now..

I gave you my love,

I gave you my world,

I gave all of me,

If you want the stars, I will find way to give to you..

If you want my heart, i will dig it out for you..

You are the reason why I'm living..

It feels so different being here without you, Life for me is not same anymore..

Starting over seems so hard, Seems like everywhere I go, I think of you..

How do I breathe without you by myself,

How do I see, when your love bought me to the light..

I'm losing my mind, Thought that you would be mine, Guess the joke was on me..

I miss you so bad till I can't sleep..

Now you choose your freedom and friends over me even though I only got 2days with you..

I'm Devastated, Is pointless to live if I know that I can't see you no more..

I'm always the extra one disturbing your life, then I will do you your request..

I will disappear from your life, I just don't understand why you want to treat me this way as if I am worthless, yes, maybe I am really Worthless to you, Maybe this is better for you so that you won't get depressed if i go away to another world..

I thought of accompany you this few days that I left, and I thought you might want it too, as time is running out.. I guessed I was wrong, you want just spend all the time you have with your friends.. I got it the wrong way.. I actually really want to run with you to somewhere else to live our life, but i know that I'm not the one that you want to spend you life with..

It will shattered me now, as I really love you, thought you was the one, But now I feeling so much pain that I cannot stand it anymore.. My life source is gone, I'm gone..

I really enjoy those time I spend with you for the 6month 22 days 1hour 52mins 14seconds...

Those happy memories will brighten up my life.. It really do..

Now I will do you a last thing..

I give you my life.. After that you can do whatever you want and accompany your friend..

Take Care of yourself..

I really miss you a lot..

And I love you till my heartbreaks..

Bye my sweetheart and lover..

You will always be my baby, and the one that I love the most..

Please don't be sad, Be happy, that all I want from you..

Love Suicide, JasonKongYingJIe Love yeotingjun

Wish to see you again my next life..

<3<3<3

RIP 22/6/2010 12.30am.

Suicide.

Since long i post..

But if i dont post now, i really will die inside..

I'm really lose and confused.. I dont know how my life will carry on..

I'm really tired of life, I just want go somewhere far far away, detach all contacts with reality..

My parents rather not pay a 3k to guarantee a place in a school for as they scare i will breach my probation.. Wtf, cant they just understand if the place is not guarantee, and if my court end up quite well, and i cant go and study again, what is the fucking point..

3k for my future?? i Think is worth it, while they think is not.. I hate them, all they care is about what they thinking.. They will never want to try understand my situation...

Fuck this world, nobody understand me no more!! And this concept in my brain wont change..

The only person will understand and love and care about me already went somewhere far far away..

Beloved aunty where are you? i really need you, I'm Lost.. I need your guidence..

I really miss you a lot..

How i wish you are still me but you leave me all alone..

I need to talk to you.. Should I come find you? I really feel like it..

I already got the sense of myself leaving..

There is no more goals and no more dreams, I just dont want pursue no more..

My dreams have died..

I will come find you soon.. 24/6/2010.... 2A.M

Ting Jun, I'm so disappointed when you think that i a bad boyfriend.. Ya maybe yes i'am..

And is time for me to leave you everybody else.. Dont be upset.. Just take it i go vacation.

Yes I'am irresponsible guy..

I'm sorry to everyone.. My beloved brother jesmond , Don't be upset.. Strive for your dreams..

And so my other brothers, do your best for everything.. i give you all my blessings... Ah hwi, thanks for all love you gave me, without you, I will be a miserable kid..

Thanks..

My parents, thanks

Brother and Sister , I love you guys..

Grandparent, i really appreacite what you do for me..

I going for a forever vacation

I don't know how or why or when

I ended up in this position I'm in

I starting to feel distant againI'm just so fucking depressed

I just can seem to get out this slump

If I could just get over this hump

But I need something to pull me out this dump

I took my bruises took my lumpsLately I've been hard to reach

I've been too long on my own

Everybody has a private world

Where they can be alone

Are you calling me are you trying to get through

Are you reaching out for me I'm reaching out for you..Lately I've been hard to reach

I've been too long on my own

Everybody has a private world

Where they can be alone

Are you calling me are you trying to get through

Are you reaching out for me I'm reaching out for you..

We’ve run out of words we’ve run out of time
We’ve run out of reasons really why we together
We both know it’s over baby bottom line
It’s best we don’t even talk at all
Cause I’m not coming back I’m closing the door
I used to be trippin’ over missin’ you but I’m not any more
I got the picture phone but baby your picture’s gone
Couldn’t stand to see your smile every time you dialed
Cause it’s over
Girl you know it’s over this time
So when you call I’m pressin’ seven
Don’t wanna hear your messages messages
I’m tryna erase you from my mind..

I always been a mistake, from the day it starts..
It shouldnt end this way..
If i know that this would happen, I wont even want to start..
I should never have believe in love..
It is over now..
Why cant u change, while i can..
Hope u dont regret..

Why cant u believe in me..
I really just want to be with u for the rest of my life..
Is just that u dont believe

I here to post.. as ppl complain say i never post..
So ya..
Recently everything is bad..
Lost 400 dollars soccer..
no money..
no gf..
no school...
no ways..
LOST..
So ya,, that all..
Bye

Christmas has passs..
Is nt as fun as last year..
Is kinda boring..
results cming 11 jan..
and i going to start mia soon

I awake still at 3am in the morning..
Listening to a song that reminds me of my beloved aunty.
I seriously miss her alot..
I just feel like following her..
Where do ppl go after they die..
Please allow me follow..




And to my baby gal:
I seriously really love u alot..
I want u to do the same for me..
I dont want any secrets along us..
I want to be truthful to u and u do back the same to me..
I dont know how say when i really face to face with u..
Please understand how i feel..
Lets us cherish each other before is too late..
I mean what i say.. I want to be with u..
I want u trust me...